1. |
Warm Covers
01:25
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this bed is so warm. it feels as if every time i lay down, i'm feeling this comfort for the first time again. am i really this tired? it's just so easy to drift. i can't keep my eyes open anymore. i don't need to. i'm ready for what happens next.
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2. |
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sometimes you see things behind your eyelids. lights emerge from the pitch black. i blink softly to find the source, but the room is empty. my eyes close again. spotlights dance softly in the darkness. they have no point of origin. i don't care. the show is comforting.
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3. |
Eigengrau
04:48
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the lights disperse and encompass my vision. not quite void. a warmth. a blank grey canvas in which everything emerges. a story of my own making. memories swarm. i can no longer keep track of time. opening the door to my dreams. colors dance as i reminisce.
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4. |
Star Charts
04:32
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each hazy color gradually sharpens and becomes indescribably detailed. lines and points. hues converge and pass through the grey, straight as arrows. passing through this network in my own perspective makes me think that i'm traversing an interstellar map. where am i now?
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5. |
Numbness In All
03:59
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the lines scatter outward. too many for me to follow. there's a familiar feeling as they fade. my form returns, though muted and numb. i feel nothing as my eyes open slowly, faintly. the familiar darkness of the bedroom. here i lay. awake, alert, and entirely unable to move.
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6. |
Breathing To Speak
05:03
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i can breathe, and that's all. i try to speak out into the silence, but i have no voice. if i exhale hard enough, maybe i can elicit a scream. nothing comes out. panic gradually sets in. what's happening to me? am i crying? would i even feel the tears? please, god. help me.
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7. |
Cycle Motions
04:48
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move your legs. rotate your shoulders. do something, please. it's so quiet. i'm still so numb. wiggle your fingers. kick like you're riding a bike. wake your body up piece by piece. i just want to thrash and scream. please, let me wake up, before the shadows start to move.
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8. |
Blood Rushes Through
04:00
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i recognize my heartbeat. with effort, i can gradually feel my legs, my fingers, my neck. i can move ever so slightly. i grasp at more tangible sensations. this blanket, this sheet, this pillow. i'm awake. by now, i have to be awake. my heart is racing. i have to be awake.
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9. |
Without Direction
03:29
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everything is silent. my heart quiets. i can move, but i no longer wish to struggle. this numbness lingers. the air is so still. i feel unwelcome in my body. why? it's too quiet. i feel so hollow. my mind is void. i am gone. i will never awaken again. i am no longer real.
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10. |
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in the silence, an abrasive noise grows. a motorcycle. i can hear its muffled roar so clearly. riding down 16th ave. it's 5:15am. i'm in my bed. it's warm. it's warm and i am alive. i can hear you. i am alive.
what an asshole.
you rescued me.
i am alive.
i am here.
today.
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Glass Double Gainesville, Florida
27 // space sludge turned gainesville local
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